Friday, January 20, 2006

Brent Shapiro and his Fiancee

Just when I think no one cares about what I'm doing, I get an Angel like this person.

• At 10:31 AM, Anonymous said…
I just came across your site. I did not post the earlier comment, but I would love to share with you, the incredible love that Brent and his fiancée shared.

As a long time friend of them both, their relationship was like something straight out of a motion picture. They were a beautiful couple, always laughing, always supporting each other and never apart for more than hours. Brent often said, as he did the week before his passing, in a toast for his fiancées birthday "She turned me from an unhappy, dark, miserable kid, to the happiest man on earth".

Their love was magical to watch and inspired everyone that met them. She was Brent’s rock and he was hers. Brent was sober and happy for the first time in his life because of her. Contrary to popular belief Brent never was sober in his families’ home. He may have been from age 13 and under, but not after that. He embraced sobriety when they moved in together and under their roof. She loved him unconditionally, supported him in everything he ever needed or wanted to accomplish and allowed him to be exactly who he was and he just thrived.

The last memory of them that I have, before her birthday dinner, was when I was having lunch in Beverly Hills with my mom. We saw the two of them walking hand in hand with their dogs down Beverly blvd just laughing and kissing each other. They were too cute. They came over to say hello and showed us the save the date cards that they had just picked up from the printer for their wedding. They also shared with my mom and me these silly Halloween toys they had just purchased for their dogs. He also showed us a new tattoo he had just gotten of his fiancées entire face on his leg. They each had each others names on their ankles with an eternity symbol and they each had their wedding date tattooed on the side of their foot. He had gone out one night, told her he would be back soon and came home with this tattoo of her face on the back of his leg. It was incredibly done and looked just like her. She was beaming as she always did around him.

My mom had never met Brent and instantly commented as they walked away, what a beautiful couple they made. They just exuded happiness and love and were so grateful for one another. Brent had no problem expressing his love to her to his guy friends, total strangers, anyone who would listen. He was grateful for her love, told her he loved her constantly and as she said at his funeral "she was so grateful to have found her prince".

It is important to know that she does not do drugs, condone drugs, the girl barely drinks. Also people should know she did not keep Brent’s drinking a secret. He came to her and to me and to so many and expressed his decision. He felt that he didn’t believe he had a drinking problem, but knew that he had battled drugs in the past and believed them to be, in fact that, a problem of his past. He didn’t ever want to go back to a life where drugs ruled his life and she would have never allowed that to happen. She protected Brent all the time from parties, events, and even his friend’s drug use, anything that would bring drugs close to Brent. She didn’t keep the occasional drink for 2 months that he had a secret. Almost all of Brent’s friends knew of this and most of them had a drink with him. Whether at a sports event, concert or poker game. Brent would have one, max two drinks, would never drive and showed her and all of his friends, that he was in control. He had expressed to many, that he wanted to share his decision with his family and drug counselor, after he could prove by his actions, that he was capable of in fact this, the occasional social drink. If for one minute this ever got out of control, his fiancée or any of us have intervened and showed complete concern. No one ever did because Brent was still doing everything he always had, studying hard, working out and attending his classes that he loved. He was as responsible as he ever was.

That terrible tragic night Brent went from talking with friends to looking as if he was going to be sick. His fiancée asked him if he was alright and he said yes. She and his friends still took him outside to get some air and he began to vomit. She was concerned at how quickly he had gotten sick and called out for someone to call an ambulance.

A medic at the party came rushing out, and from what I have been told by many, took over the entire situation. He sat down with Brent and took his vitals and spoke with him. They were concerned Brent may have taken something because he had gotten so sick so quickly. They expressed this to the medic and he told them to take Brent home, give him water and stay up with him in case he needed to vomit again. He told them that there was nothing the ER could do for them that they couldn’t do at home. He needed water and rest and he would be fine.

Everyone there looked at her like she was crazy and overreacting for wanting to go to the hospital. She didn’t want to be home alone with Brent if he got sick, so she went to a friends house, along with his and her friends, where they all followed the directions of the medic. After talking with Brent, giving him fluids and staying up with him as he rested, he suddenly began to look as if he was going to be sick again and he began choking and he went into cardiac. 911 was called immediately and he fell into a coma at the hospital and passed away the next day.

She is completely devastated, a skeleton of whom she used to be. She walks around in a daze, crying every single day, the only thing that gets her through and I believe has kept her here with us, is her faith in God and a belief that she needs to be here and live out gods will for her, in order for her to be with her beautiful Brent again. That and her friends, family, therapy and their two adorable dogs that she loves and Brent loved more than anything. She also has a mission now to educate people on addiction and relapse, open sober living houses in Brent’s name and do everything she can to keep his memory alive.

She questions her decision of listening to the medic EVERY SINGLE DAY. She lost the love of her life that night. She always says "One minute I was dancing with the guest of honors parents and the next I am in the hospital and saying goodbye to him, I don’t understand".

I don’t even really believe she has accepted it yet. And to top off this horror, every one of Brent’s friends with the exception of 4, have completely abandoned her and blame her for Brent’s death. His family blames her and has done awful things and said awful things about her. It is so tragic and so horrible, the way she has been treated.

It breaks all of our hearts who are close to her, to see such an amazing and sweet girl, go through this and have all of this evilness put on her and to imagine what Brent must be feeling seeing this all occur. She was his life and he was hers. I pray for all of Brent’s friends, family and especially her to make it through this.

I also want to remind people that Brent was an angel on earth. Didn’t have a bad bone in his body, lived life to the fullest and loved more than anyone. They should remember this and live their life with him in their hearts, their memories kept close to them and being good people like Brent was. Not by hurting the one he loved the most. Brent’s death was a tragic, horrible accident.

Please continue to spread the message that ecstasy can and will kill you. Even the smallest amount in your system can take you from the beautiful life you are to live here and the ones that love you the most. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing this with us! If there is anything I can do to help Brent’s fiancée please don’t hesitate to just let me know.
You can also send me a private e-mail, which will stay private too. Beth


Anonymous said...

Rip Brent. Hearing this story tears my heart up. Im a male in my early 20's. I just want to say my heart goes out to his fiance and brother that he left behind.

I did not know brent, i watched this story on T.V. a couple months ago. Im a huge sports fan and big time SC fan. But anyway I will continue to pray for his fiance and family. I really dont know what to say. To his fiance, Hang in there and better days are upon you. God will reward you for being so faithful.

" Trust in the Lord with all your heart and Lean Not on your own understanding." " In all your way acknowledge HIM and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 We are with you!

Anonymous said...

I didn't know Brent but I read his myspace page and his fiances page and the incredible messages they left for one another. Wow what a love the two of them had! It is so heartbreaking to imagine her pain. He wrote nothing to her other than how much he loved her, how she had made him happier than he had ever been in his life and he attributes his entire sobriety to her. It is so horrible to think that his family and friends do not consider this and reach out to her with love. I cant imagine how I would feel looking down on my family being horrible to the most important person in my life. Hang in there angel face. You two will be together again and surrounded by the love and goodness that you both deserved to have here.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful, Beautiful Girl! We love you and your in our prayers. We applaud the work you are doing in getting your non profit up and running and actually having a foundation built on nothing but pure unconditional love, something Brent always gave so freely. A foundation that represents all the wonderful lessons Brent taught us all and sober living houses that are filled with what he lived for... His friends, music and sports and bringing people together! Cant say that about the other foundation :(. That saddens us all. But we are excited and behind you and cant wait to open the first house, a house filled with Brent's love, his energy and beam the beautiful white light you and Brent always gave and you still have pretty girl! We support you and will be rocking out at future concerts and poker events. We can't wait! You are the strongest person we have ever met and you are an inspiration to us all! Keep your head up babygirl, he loves you, surrounds you, protects you and so do all of us! Brian and Cass

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Anonymous said...

Its a sad day when blame is placed on someone suffering such an incredible loss. My heart goes out to this girl. All I can say to her is stay strong and trust in g-d. You did nothing wrong and you continue to hold your head high. If anyone can get me information on this foundation that brent's fiancee and friends are starting, I would love to contribute financially to seeing it a success. Keep up the good work with your blog. May g-d bless brent and his friends and fiancee who lost him. As for his family and the friends that spread hate not love, may g-d ease the pain in your heart but also open your mind. What would your son/friend think of your behavior towards the one he loved more than anything. Lead with love, not with anger. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe a year has gone by.
RIP Brent

Anonymous said...

Brent Shapiro - The most fun loving, caring, gentle free spirit that I have ever met. In my heart and in the heart of my family, Brent will always be one of my sons. For many years he brought so much love and laughter into our home,we still feel him there.
To his family, there aren't any comforting words. What do you say to parents that have lost a child, what can you say? As for the love of his life, he will help her through all of this. No one is to blame, it won't bring him back. Brent your laughter still rings in my heart, so many early morning hours I woke up to you and the boys laughing. Your spirit is so strong you still bring everyone together for a good time. I love you always.

Anonymous said...

I cannot imagine what losing a son or a partner does to one. My prayers are so that I do not survive either my children, grandchildren or my husband. However, I have survived both my parents and when the going gets tough I feel them the closest. I know that Brent looks down and continues to love his princess and his family, he's not gone but just far away.

Rajni said...

Bankruptcy is usually a hectic time, sometimes it is even quite emotional, consumers are not thinking straight. They just know they want it over with as quickly as possible, so they go out hire a lawyer and listen to what they tell them to repair

mommy said...

How did the "e" get into his system if he was not using? Did someone lace his drink? Was there an investigation?