Oxycontin Ends a Young Life

Here's a story that broke my heart:

Kai Hoeckel was dead. He was found one morning last week, cold to the touch, lying on a futon at his father's home in Grove City.

The toxicology report is not back yet, but there's a good chance the prescription drug OxyContin killed him.

He was 23.

As the word spread through the Rotary clubs and the mothers' circles around Englewood, it unleashed a flood of reactions: disbelief, fear, introspection, anger, determination and -- always underlying the others -- a gripping pain.

Kai was the kid who made crazy potions when he was young. He was the boy with the mischievous smile on his face at second base in Little League. He was the young man everyone liked.

Yes, after graduating from high school, he had fallen under the spell of drugs. He had spent time in the hospital. He had spent time in jail. In May, he had overdosed on his favorite drug, the addictive painkiller, OxyContin.

But that's not who he was. He had kicked the habit. At the end of the summer, he was talking about the future, about continuing on the career path of his mother, Carroll Swayze, an artist. Kai was going to blow glass in Fort Myers or enroll in the Pennland School of Crafts in North Carolina.

Then, suddenly, he was dead.

Friends gathered at Swayze's home in north Englewood. They looked for answers when there really are none.

The parents among them could not shake a disturbing thought. If drugs can consume a handsome, talented, funny young man who had no intention of killing himself and everything to live for, how safe are their own children?

Everyone, it seems, has a story to tell about someone they know who is on drugs or has died from them. These drug users are not pathetic losers with parents who don't care. These are the sons and daughters of contractors, attorneys and teachers, of honest, hardworking, contributing members of society.

And behind each of these stories is a family that is suffering terribly from their loss. Here's that part of this story:

Swayze tried to help her son. She hired a drug therapist and counselor to come to the house. He had long talks with Kai, who freely admitted his addiction and wanted to shake it.

In desperation after his overdose in May, Swayze took Kai out of town, way out of town. The two went to a secluded area of Michigan where Swayze markets her artwork in the summer. There, Kai flourished. He helped Swayze at shows. He produced bronze pieces that sold well. He worked as a carpenter on two cabins. As usual, he made friends who wanted him to stay.

"We had such a great summer," Swayze says. "It was the first time I wasn't afraid. He had a problem, and this summer was the first time he faced the problem. He did it willingly. Not a moment was I nervous about him. The whole time, he was like the little boy I raised."

Finally, it was time to come home. Swayze says they talked about it, and Kai said, "Mom, we can't stay here forever."

They returned Sept. 7. A little more than two weeks later, Kai was dead.

People want to do something, but they're not sure what. Meanwhile, parents with kids who have stuck around after high school live in fear. One said she interrogates her son when he gets home. Where was he? Who was he with? When she hears an unfamiliar name, she rushes to the computer and pores through online records. She's a nervous wreck because he wants to share an apartment with a friend. No one should have to live like that.

There's no bringing Kai Hoeckel back. And there's no foolproof manual telling us how to comfort his mother or make ourselves feel better or where to go from here. Maybe his death will spur a flurry of action that will save someone else. That's about the best we can hope for.

And, Swayze sees a lesson in her personal tragedy.

"You have to see the good in every day," she says. "Savor every moment. I don't think people realize what they have. A friend called from Virginia Beach the other night. 'What do you want me to do?' she asked. "I said, 'Just go hug your son.'"

How sad.

The story also includes this very interesting analysis of why drug deaths are so under-reported:

The drug problem in this area is not exaggerated. In fact, it is understated. Drug deaths often do not make the news as drug deaths. In the newspapers, we read only that a young man or woman has been found dead and that foul play is not suspected.

By the time a toxicology report comes back four months later, the death is old news, especially if it does not involve a prominent person or a separate crime. Unless we know the family, we never make a positive link between the death and drugs.

But ask most young people working around town. They know the real score. Drugs are readily available, their friends are doing them, and they can rattle off the names of those who have died because of it.

How I wish these kids whose name the "rattle off" had seen my Voice of the Victims films, so they could have made better choices and be more than sad memories today.

Source: Eric Ernst in the Sarasota Herald-Tribune

Another Triple C DXM Death

This was posted on the Dr. Phil message board site. It was posted by a woman who would like to get the word out, DXM is dangerous and we need to all warn our kids. Please read this and pass it on to others. This is just so sad! The kids really think this is safe! Please tell them it isn't. Thank you,Beth
Tragedy Strikes Again
I'm writing to share with you a terrible thing that I have experienced last Sunday through today and hope that you can
spread a message for us. The pain that we, her family and friends are feeling right now is indescribable, and the worst part, so needless. My daughter's friend, whom she to went to school with since kindergarten, died early last Sunday morning. She was 16 years old. We have known her family since the girls met at Catholic School and kept in touch, saw them at church and school functions, birthday parties, etc. They
carpooled together their freshman year. She was probably the most
popular girl I have ever met, loved by the girls as well as the boys, a super soccer and la crosse player. She was just beautiful with big blue eyes, long blond hair.

Last Monday, she took 24 'triple C' pills. Triple C is plain old
cough, cold, codeine over the counter pills we give our children when they are sick. Triple C is the new high for teenagers. She was not angry, unhappy or anything else. She was not a drug user. She just wanted to get high and heard this was a fun and easy way to do it. When she began vomiting Tuesday morning and couldn't stop, her parents took her to Children's Hospital in Orange. Although she text messaged a friend on Monday night about what she had done, she didn't tell the doctors, the nurses, or her parents. Neither did her friend or any of the other friends who were forwarded the text message. For four days, test after test was being done to figure out what was wrong. Still no one said anything. On Friday, she slipped into a coma and was given last rites before being flown to UCLA Medical Ctr
on Saturday morning. Her liver had completely failed and she passed at 2:30 a.m.

The Memorial Service yesterday at La Purisima was the saddest day I have ever spent. The church was full (it holds 1200), several hundred teens alone. To see her in that white coffin weighing 25# or so more than her tiny self and looking years older because she was full of toxins was a sobering sight for those kids. As that little coffin was rolled down the church aisle today flanked by her brother and cousins, followed by her grieving aunt, grandmother and parents, I swear the whole church was sobbing. Her poor dad was taken to St Joe's at the conclusion of the church service for a potential heart attack (his third) and missed the 16 white doves let at the graveside. If this girl had known how many people loved, adored her...I know she didn't think taking all those pills would kill her, just give her a high, make her feel good for awhile. I know if she could have seen all those people with so much pain in them these last days,
she would have thought twice about putting those pills in her mouth. These kids think they are invincible, that death cannot touch them at 16. They just have no idea. I had never heard of 'triple C' being used as a high or 'huffing' which is opening the cold capsule and snorting it. But when I asked around, all the kids were very aware of the term and the high. If each one of us tells one person about this story, and that person tells someone else, and they tell someone, and so forth, maybe we can help some other teen avoid dying so needlessly, avoid ruining their parents’ lives, hurting their friends and family.

GHB: "The World's Worst Drug"

This article from Australia shows why I really feel the need to make a film about the dangers of GHB:

Gamma hydroxybutyrate -- known on the street as GHB or fantasy -- is popular in the nightclub, rave and dance scene, particularly on the Gold Coast, studies reveal.

Often sold as ''liquid ecstasy'' even though it's a very different kind of drug, GHB can be cheaper than alcohol and, because it leaves the system quickly, users normally escape hangovers.

Dr Paul Dillon, chief research officer at the National Drug and Alcohol Research Centre, says the other main appeal to users is the drug's effects in making people sexually uninhibited. ...

But users are playing Russian roulette every time they take the drug, usually sold as a clear, odourless liquid in 5ml-7ml doses.

''Its potential for overdose is frightening,'' Dr Dillon says. ''Most drugs have a reasonable difference between the amount needed for a good time and finding yourself in the emergency room, but in the case of GHB the gap is tiny.''

As little as 2ml difference can put users in a coma. And the quality of GHB is notoriously erratic, so even regular users easily miscalculate.

A 2003 study by the National Drug and Alcohol Research Centre showed half of all GHB users had overdosed at least once, and one-third at least three times.

A Queensland study by the centre last year found more than a quarter of ecstasy users had also taken GHB, 13 per cent within the previous six months. That was more than twice the rate for the previous two years, and well above the national level of nine per cent.

With more than 700,000 young Australians using ecstasy each year, that means GHB is also widespread.

A Ritalin Abuse Death

I talked to a young man tonight who's brother died from Ritalin abuse. He said the prescription stimulant attacked his brother's heart, weakening it. That led to risky heart surgery, and his brother died on the operating table.

"He died during heart surgery, but it was Ritalin that killed him," he said, adding that Ritalin abuse is common on some college campuses.

This is the first I've heard of this. I did a Nexis search over the last year for stories of Ritalin abuse and death, and all I found was one reference to Ritalin's popularity at "pharm parties," where kids mix prescription drugs in a bowl and wash down mixtures of pills with alcohol.

Mexico's New Drug Law

My husband posted this on his blog and I thought it was something I should share with you. I've made a few changes to make it fit my blog a bit better, but he's right on with his concern about this new development!

Mexico's New Drug Law

As most of you know, MexPrez Vincente Fox is expected to sign into law a new bill that decriminalizes, as the New York Times reports, possession of up to "5 grams of marijuana, 5 grams of opium, 25 milligrams of heroin or 500 milligrams of cocaine."

That's not accurate. Other drugs, including Ecstasy, are also included in the decriminalization. ...

My wife has made a film that chronicles what happened to four families because of the casual -- not big time addictive, but "safe casual" -- use of the drugs Ecstasy and Ketamine. In it, she tells the story of Erin, who now struggles painfully to get through life because of a severe brain injury caused by "safe casual" use of Ketamine, an anaesthetic used primarily by vets. (You can meet Erin at the link above; there's a preview.)

The Ketamine Erin took was purchased in Mexico and brought back to California. It was easy for the boy who bought it to accomplish the trick, as you can see from this photo of a Mexican pharmacy. Now the trick will be done with heroin, opium, coke, various methamphetimine drugs and pot.

That's very bad news for our kids.

Some with real addictions will probably just move there to have a steady flow of cheap, legal drugs. By doing that, they'll be farther away from getting the treatment and help they need.

And for thousands of good kids who have come to believe that drugs can be taken safely and aren't that big a deal, trips to Mexico will now frequently include use of drugs that are rightfully illegal here. And with the drugs easy to purchase in Mexico, more of them will be coming home and shared with friends here.

And that, unfortunately, means more risks and more tragedies here at home.

Ecstasy and what kids think about my film!

Thank you!
I am a School Resource Officer at a High School. I am currently having a problem with Ecstasy use with my students. Atlanta Georgia is now the #1 distribution center for Ecstasy and we are an hour south of there.

I was reviewing your video in my office yesterday and one of my female students walked in and started watching it with me. She was so overwhelmed by the video that after school she told some of her friends about it and they returned after school just to watch the video. I teach a lot of drug education classes and will use your video in them. I teach all the incoming freshmen at Lagrange College every year, I believe that the video will have a huge impact on them.

Thank you very much for your time and energy in putting the video together, it is great!!!

Thank you for caring about your students and ordering the film to show them and hopefully it will help them to make wise choices! (Beth)

www.voiceofthevictims.com

OxyContin

Anonymous has left a new comment on my earlier post "Meth Poem sent to me:

I wanted to point out that unlike street drugs, OxyContin made by Purdue Pharma a company, purposely distributed oxy-contin to small rural areas at routine dr. visits purposely "to get the ball rolling”.

Now a multi million dollar industry, MASS amounts of these pain pills are available with easy access to the now addicted public. Like any addiction, the people are stopping at nothing to get more pills, stealing, lying, breaking into pharmacies at gunpoint, the usual addicted behavior of a addicted addict. More pills than people in NEED prescribed for pain by FAR.

Basically it's legal drug trade if you think about it...Purdue Pharma paid off employees who were against this horror story, and whatever the price it worked. The people who were against this now continue working for the company and MONEY keeps people quiet, changes morals, and obviously speaks louder than the millions addicted and dying from this pain pills mass distribution.. Purdue Pharma had good intentions??

We need pain pills, this I cannot deny. Suffering from pain is HELL and thank God for pain medications. This company targeted economy stricken little rural areas and handed these out like candy. Pushing I believe is the right term. Once a small company now a multi-million dollar company, and the users get addicted because the pills are easy to get in the street because there are so many distributed.

They are mass produced for the sole intent to make profit. More made than people in NEED by FAR.. Read the book about OxyContin.. It tells the true real story...

What is a parent supposed to do when drugs are legally sold and made in large amounts from a multi-million dollar company that is supposed to be helping cancer patients or severe injury cases for PAIN. And by abusing the drug, these addicts are looked down upon as low life addicts who "abuse the drug”, therefore, what would one expect?

If any drug is abused it’s the drug working against the victim. VICTIM is the key word. Addiction is not all people of low life scum, that the public is led to believe. Lawyers, business men and women, moms, dads, all once upstanding citizens, can fall into addiction and its too late once it takes hold of them.

Because the drug trade tends to be criminal thug run, in this case its a huge business legally operating with research phacilities, doctors, and every day people participating in mass amounts of pain pills distributed for MASS PROFIT as people are seriously addicted, become addicts with criminal behavior to get more pills, and are dying. NOT from the cancer, not from the pain, but from the product that is supposed to be helping these symptoms...

A Sister Cries Out

Carol has left a new comment on my earlier post "Meth Poem sent to me."

Hi Beth. This poem relates to all these drugs and or anyone with an addiction problem. These drugs use the victim and in most cases, turn an individual into a DESPERATE, unconscious, lying thief.

The only motive is to get high, and they will consume and destroy anyone and everything in the path of destruction
their desperation for the drug takes them.

All that once was, no longer is part of their conscious. I lost my sister to GHB sold over the counter, as a vitamin supplement; she had no idea what poison she was consuming until it was too late. It was a real sick, tragic story that haunts me every single day.

My youngest sister is now hooked on oxycontin. Although she is abusing the drug knowingly, she is NOT even close to the person I once knew.

These drugs destroy eagerly and once addicted, it's hell to be the one still standing in the same place, watching
helplessly as if it were cancer eating away her soul.... I know people who stole necklaces off their dying grandmother’s neck while pretending to give a last kiss. I know a girl who left her baby at the hospital and has no concern to see him but uses excuses (lies) that she is making effort to go see the baby just to
get out the door to get more pills. I know people who use the elderly knowing they are terminal just to befriend them until they pass away and steal all they had.


IT NEVER ENDS! THE EXTREME DESPAIR AND DESPERATE SICK LEVELS THESE DRUGS BRING ONCE WONDERFUL PEOPLE TOO A LEVEL SO LOW IT’S UNBEARABLE. I have been involved in fighting this drug parasite for a long time now and it’s like dominoes. I tried helping those I had any confrontation with all I have in me. I
USED money, time, love, compassion, and I pray, and I pray. It’s not a "good time" taking poison and believing it won’t hurt you or you won’t get addicted.

IF YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT AND IT WONT HAPPEN TO YOU, CHANCES ARE YOU ARE ALREADY TAKEN. THESE DRUGS WILL TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE AND YOU NO LONGER CAN EVEN RATIONALIZE RIGHT FROM WRONG AND ALL THAT YOU ONCE WERE, WILL BE
CONSUMED AND YOU NO LONGER ARE YOU...

Like me, I want to live my life with my morals, my conscious, and with a desire to maintain my human functions the best I can, as I watch my family decay helplessly I can only ask God to be with us all..

God bless everyone.

Thank you, Carol! Readers, you can see how beautiful Carol's sister was before GHB addiction took her away.

Meth Poem sent to me

Beth -

I thought you might be interested in this poem written by a meth addicted Indian girl ...

I destroy homes, I tear families apart,I take your children, and that's just the start.

I'm more costly than diamonds, more precious than gold,The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.

If you need me, remember I'm easily found,I live all around you - in schools and in town

I live with the rich, I live with the poor,I live down the street, and maybe next door.

I'm made in a lab, but not like you think,I can be made under the kitchen sink.

In your child's closet, and even in the woods,If this scares you to death, well it certainly should.

I have many names, but there's one you know best,I'm sure you've heard of me, my name is crystal meth.

My power is awesome, try me you'll see,But if you do, you may never break free.

Just try me once and I might let you go,But try me twice, and I'll own your soul.

When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie,You do what you have to — just to get high.

The crimes you'll commit for my narcotic charmsWill be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms.

You'll lie to your mother, you'll steal from your dad,When you see their tears, you should feel sad.

But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised,I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.

I take kids from parents, and parents from kids,I turn people from God, and separate friends.

I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride,I'll be with you always — right by your side.

You'll give up everything - your family, your home,Your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.

I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give,When I'm finished with you, you'll be lucky to live.

If you try me be warned - this is no game,If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.

I'll ravish your body, I'll control your mind,I'll own you completely, your soul will be mine.

The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed,The voices you'll hear, from inside your head.

The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see,I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.

But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart,That you are mine, and we shall not part.

You'll regret that you tried me, they always do,But you came to me, not I to you.

You knew this would happen, many times you were told,But you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.

You could have said no, and just walked away,If you could live that day over, now what would you say?

I'll be your master, you will be my slave,I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.

Now that you have met me, what will you do? Will you try me or not? It's all up to you.

I can bring you more misery than words can tell,Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.

Family Watch Dog

Because my ministry is keeping kids safe, I want to share this wonderful site with all of you. (Beth)
http://www.familywatchdog.us/
Go to this link... click on it and enter your address...it will show a house. That's yours... all the little colored boxes are sex offenders...click on them and you get a name, address & picture of the person along with his crime. Pretty amazing and scary...it shows you where they live in proximity to your home and the local schools.

DXM and DEATH letter written by a Grandmother and Mother

Here is a letter I received just recently, I asked the family if it would be O.K to post it for others to see and hopefully learn from. Here is her answer and their tragic expericence with DXM.

Dear Beth,
Of course you may post what I wrote about my Grandson's death! Anything I can do to help get the message out that DXM can & will kill you.

Dear Beth,

I came across your website by accident and I am so happy I did. This is the greatest! There should be more web sites like yours.

I have been looking for websites about DXM & deaths. You see my beautiful 17 year old grandson, the light of my life died Jan. 24 2005 of a DXM overdose. His so called friend was selling these capsules for $5.00. Josh Coyle knew that there was a chance that this kill Glenn or anyone else but he neglected to tell my grandson this. Now, he is gone and Josh Coyle was convicted with involuntary manslaughter and is in the Danville, Va jail awaiting his appeal. Josh Coyle was also charged with 7 other counts.

I want so much to tell these children & adults that one night of their so called fun is not worth death and the pain that their families feel after they are gone. If they think this will not happen to them, it can, why take the chance? It is not worth it.
My grandson Glenn Thomas Jr. died a very violent death, his best friend was with him when he died at my mothers home, Glenn had raised about 10 feet in the air before he landed on the floor of his bedroom when he died.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't cry for my beautiful grandson. The pain I feel has not yet left my heart nor do I feel it ever will. Glenn made a mistake by taking that pill of pure DXM and he paid for it by death. He left behind a sweet 6 year old brother who misses him so much. And a 5 month old son whom he never got to see.

I would like very much for this to get out about how deadly this DXM is. Please the pain is not worth the death of a loved one for a stupid pill.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Ms. Idar Stout
Glenn Thomas's Jr. Grandmother

Dear Beth,

My daughter wrote this letter and I want to share this with you, you may use this also if you think it will help. I call it a Mothers Letter:

Unless you have lost a child, you will never understand. The pain that I live with is indescribable. Everyday that I wake up and all through the day, I relive the last day of my sons life. I relive walking into the emergency room seeing all the personal crowded around my son, hurriedly trying to pump life back into his heart, seeing the nurse in the corner cry because there was nothing left they could do for my child.

I have an everlasting picture in my mind of my sons bloodshot eyes staring blankly back at me. I screamed his name hoping to wake him up, I laid over his cold body wanting to keep him warm.

I held my child for the last time on that day. I touched his thick hair, I held his strong hand, and I told him I loved him in his ear, for the last time.
Glenn has been gone a year and there is not a day that goes by where we don't feel his absence. His 6 year old brother remembers something Glenn had said or did for him and he cries. He says I wish Glenn could come back here one day.
There is a baby boy left behind who will grow wondering about his daddy, a baby boy who will grow up wondering what his daddy was like.
Glenn had a future; he had talent, his beautiful voice and intelligent mind allowed him to be a poet and a songwriter. Up until the end of his life, he was in the recording studio putting out CDs. He sang about what went on in the world, he sang about the war and the unjust of it. He wanted to be heard, he wanted to be known.

My son wanted to live, he loved life. Glenn did not mean to not wake up the next day, he did not mean to traumatize his very best friend, who was with him and found him, who grieves now everyday and who relives Glenn's last day of life over and over.
Glenn's family has a lifetime of suffering; we will forever have eternal loss.

Glenn's Mother

Beth this letter was written to be heard by the court when Josh Coyle was being sentenced.
All this pain and suffering our family carries with us was caused by DXM. Is it really worth it?

Thank you Beth for allowing us to be Glenn's voice. If there is anything I can do please let me hear from you.

Brent Shapiro and his Fiancee

Just when I think no one cares about what I'm doing, I get an Angel like this person.

• At 10:31 AM, Anonymous said…
I just came across your site. I did not post the earlier comment, but I would love to share with you, the incredible love that Brent and his fiancée shared.

As a long time friend of them both, their relationship was like something straight out of a motion picture. They were a beautiful couple, always laughing, always supporting each other and never apart for more than hours. Brent often said, as he did the week before his passing, in a toast for his fiancées birthday "She turned me from an unhappy, dark, miserable kid, to the happiest man on earth".

Their love was magical to watch and inspired everyone that met them. She was Brent’s rock and he was hers. Brent was sober and happy for the first time in his life because of her. Contrary to popular belief Brent never was sober in his families’ home. He may have been from age 13 and under, but not after that. He embraced sobriety when they moved in together and under their roof. She loved him unconditionally, supported him in everything he ever needed or wanted to accomplish and allowed him to be exactly who he was and he just thrived.

The last memory of them that I have, before her birthday dinner, was when I was having lunch in Beverly Hills with my mom. We saw the two of them walking hand in hand with their dogs down Beverly blvd just laughing and kissing each other. They were too cute. They came over to say hello and showed us the save the date cards that they had just picked up from the printer for their wedding. They also shared with my mom and me these silly Halloween toys they had just purchased for their dogs. He also showed us a new tattoo he had just gotten of his fiancées entire face on his leg. They each had each others names on their ankles with an eternity symbol and they each had their wedding date tattooed on the side of their foot. He had gone out one night, told her he would be back soon and came home with this tattoo of her face on the back of his leg. It was incredibly done and looked just like her. She was beaming as she always did around him.

My mom had never met Brent and instantly commented as they walked away, what a beautiful couple they made. They just exuded happiness and love and were so grateful for one another. Brent had no problem expressing his love to her to his guy friends, total strangers, anyone who would listen. He was grateful for her love, told her he loved her constantly and as she said at his funeral "she was so grateful to have found her prince".

It is important to know that she does not do drugs, condone drugs, the girl barely drinks. Also people should know she did not keep Brent’s drinking a secret. He came to her and to me and to so many and expressed his decision. He felt that he didn’t believe he had a drinking problem, but knew that he had battled drugs in the past and believed them to be, in fact that, a problem of his past. He didn’t ever want to go back to a life where drugs ruled his life and she would have never allowed that to happen. She protected Brent all the time from parties, events, and even his friend’s drug use, anything that would bring drugs close to Brent. She didn’t keep the occasional drink for 2 months that he had a secret. Almost all of Brent’s friends knew of this and most of them had a drink with him. Whether at a sports event, concert or poker game. Brent would have one, max two drinks, would never drive and showed her and all of his friends, that he was in control. He had expressed to many, that he wanted to share his decision with his family and drug counselor, after he could prove by his actions, that he was capable of in fact this, the occasional social drink. If for one minute this ever got out of control, his fiancée or any of us have intervened and showed complete concern. No one ever did because Brent was still doing everything he always had, studying hard, working out and attending his classes that he loved. He was as responsible as he ever was.

That terrible tragic night Brent went from talking with friends to looking as if he was going to be sick. His fiancée asked him if he was alright and he said yes. She and his friends still took him outside to get some air and he began to vomit. She was concerned at how quickly he had gotten sick and called out for someone to call an ambulance.

A medic at the party came rushing out, and from what I have been told by many, took over the entire situation. He sat down with Brent and took his vitals and spoke with him. They were concerned Brent may have taken something because he had gotten so sick so quickly. They expressed this to the medic and he told them to take Brent home, give him water and stay up with him in case he needed to vomit again. He told them that there was nothing the ER could do for them that they couldn’t do at home. He needed water and rest and he would be fine.

Everyone there looked at her like she was crazy and overreacting for wanting to go to the hospital. She didn’t want to be home alone with Brent if he got sick, so she went to a friends house, along with his and her friends, where they all followed the directions of the medic. After talking with Brent, giving him fluids and staying up with him as he rested, he suddenly began to look as if he was going to be sick again and he began choking and he went into cardiac. 911 was called immediately and he fell into a coma at the hospital and passed away the next day.

She is completely devastated, a skeleton of whom she used to be. She walks around in a daze, crying every single day, the only thing that gets her through and I believe has kept her here with us, is her faith in God and a belief that she needs to be here and live out gods will for her, in order for her to be with her beautiful Brent again. That and her friends, family, therapy and their two adorable dogs that she loves and Brent loved more than anything. She also has a mission now to educate people on addiction and relapse, open sober living houses in Brent’s name and do everything she can to keep his memory alive.

She questions her decision of listening to the medic EVERY SINGLE DAY. She lost the love of her life that night. She always says "One minute I was dancing with the guest of honors parents and the next I am in the hospital and saying goodbye to him, I don’t understand".

I don’t even really believe she has accepted it yet. And to top off this horror, every one of Brent’s friends with the exception of 4, have completely abandoned her and blame her for Brent’s death. His family blames her and has done awful things and said awful things about her. It is so tragic and so horrible, the way she has been treated.

It breaks all of our hearts who are close to her, to see such an amazing and sweet girl, go through this and have all of this evilness put on her and to imagine what Brent must be feeling seeing this all occur. She was his life and he was hers. I pray for all of Brent’s friends, family and especially her to make it through this.

I also want to remind people that Brent was an angel on earth. Didn’t have a bad bone in his body, lived life to the fullest and loved more than anyone. They should remember this and live their life with him in their hearts, their memories kept close to them and being good people like Brent was. Not by hurting the one he loved the most. Brent’s death was a tragic, horrible accident.

Please continue to spread the message that ecstasy can and will kill you. Even the smallest amount in your system can take you from the beautiful life you are to live here and the ones that love you the most. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing this with us! If there is anything I can do to help Brent’s fiancée please don’t hesitate to just let me know.
You can also send me a private e-mail, which will stay private too. Beth

ECSTASY HAS DESTROYED MY SON'S LIFE

HERE IS A COMMENT FROM AN EARLIER POST I WOULD LIKE TO BRING UP TO THE FRONT FOR ALL OF YOU TO READ AND THINK ABOUT! THANK YOU GAYLE! (BETH)

Gayle said...

Ectasy has destroyed my son's life. The use of this drug has been at epidemic proportion for several years now and is being swept under carpets all over this country. No one wants to admit it is a problem in their town.

My son was a very good athlete and was introduced to this drug at a neighborhood party. He began hallucinating and knew something was wrong. An ambulance was called and he was brought to the hospital where he was given Tylenol for his headache and released that same evening and told not to do drugs anymore!! He walked home at 3:00 AM 5 miles and could have been killed because he was so high. He continued to hallucinate for several weeks and finally committed to a psychiatric hospital where he spent the next two months heavily medicated.

It has been four years and he has never been the same. He is on 3 different meds, is 100% disabled, is unable to hold down a job, and is not the same person he once was. He used to be a happy fun-loving kid who made friends easily and was a likeable human being. Despite the medication, he is now unhappy, depressed, irritable, unreasonable, and unmotivated. Hospitals and professionals are ill equipped and not up to date on exactly what this drug does. Psychiatrists are treating their patients with medication that simply doesn't work after an ecstasy drug overdose. I don't know what is going to become of my son at this point. My entire family has been affected by this drug. Young adults need to be bombarded with real life information on this drug in an effort to prevent this from happening to anyone else!
6:30 PM

Dear Gayle,

You are SO RIGHT ON!! It just flips me out how little most people really care about these drugs, and yes, these are the drugs that the kids think are safe, fun, and what's the big deal here about it!! They are tricked into thinking these drugs are not as bad as.... heroin or whatever other drug ... they will name in that place!

And do you know what? As Glen, an undercover narcotics officer says in my film, "The Parents even say, 'Well at least it's not heroin or some other drug,' when in fact ecstasy can be more dangerous than those other drugs!"

I don't do what I do because I'm some anti-drug finatic! I do this because I KNOW our kids need to have a chance to know what can happen. This is not some super safe drug, that maybe used to be legal, so it's really O.K. to take! Ecstasy is not legal, therefore you do not know who is making it, what is in it, and so on!

I am really concerned about the future of our younger generation! How can anyone hold a job if they have no memory? How about the horrible depression?

I would love to hear from more of you out there that care about what is happening to our kids! Please do submit your comments!

Thank you again, Gayle, for sharing with us! You may never know who and how many you have helped, but I can bet you, it's more than you will ever think!

I would love to talk to your son and let him tell everyone what this has done to him. If you would be interested in anything like this, just send me a private e-mail to Beth@voiceofthevictims.com.

Take Care,

Beth

BRENT SHAPIRO COMMENT

Anonymous said...

I JUST READ ABOUT BRENT. I MET HIM A FEW TIMES, HIS FIANCEE IS MY FRIEND AND MY HEART BREAKS FOR HER AND THE LOSS OF THE LOVE OF HER LIFE.

THEY WERE TO GET MARRIED THIS YEAR. HE WAS HER SOUL MATE . HER LIFE, HER EVERYTHING.

HE WAS CLEAN AND TOOK ONE LITTLE PILL AND SHE LOST HIM FOREVER.

THERE ARE SO MANY STORIES GOING AROUND AS WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM. IT SUCKS UNLESS YOU KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THAT FATE FULL NIGHT HE DIED. BRENT IS FOREVER LOOKING OVER ALL HIS LOVED ONES AND FAMILY NOW.

REST IN PEACE BRENT

Studer- Musladin case Comments

What's Wrong WIth Our Courts?!
Regular readers know my concern is about drugs that harm our families. I just don't want there to be any more victims of the heartbreak drugs can cause. Of course, there are victims of other crimes, and my heart goes out to them, too. That's why this story, from the San Jose Mercury News, so infuriated me:
Federal court reverses 1995 murder conviction FAMILY PHOTO BUTTONS CALLED INFLAMMATORYBy Howard MintzMercury NewsThe appeals court ruling stems from a fatal May 1994 confrontation in the driveway of Pamela Musladin's mother's home in South San Jose. At the time, Pamela Musladin had been separated for months from her husband and had been living there with the Musladins' 3-year-old son and Studer, a 31-year-old plumber and her fiance.
A federal appeals court on Friday overturned a 10-year-old San Jose murder conviction, finding the defendant did not receive a fair trial because the victim's family was allowed to sit each day in the front row of the courtroom wearing buttons bearing photographs of the victim.
In a 2-1 decision, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that Mathew Musladin is entitled to a new trial for the 1994 killing of his estranged wife's boyfriend outside a Blossom Valley home. Musladin, 45, is currently serving a life prison term for the first-degree murder of Thomas Allen Studer and the attempted murder of his now ex-wife, Pamela.
The state has the option of asking an 11-judge 9th Circuit panel to reconsider the decision, or send the case back to San Jose for a new trial. Santa Clara County prosecutors vowed to retry Musladin, 45, who has maintained that he was acting in self-defense and that Studer's death was an accident.
Musladin will remain in prison while the case proceeds. ...
Mathew Musladin arrived at the home to pick up his 3-year-old son for a weekend visitation when an argument broke out in front of the house. Court records show that Musladin fired shots at Pamela and Studer, hitting Studer in the shoulder and then in the head with a bullet that ricocheted off the pavement. [Note: O'Reilly said Studer was shot from behind.]
Musladin admitted shooting Studer, but claimed that he believed Studer had a gun and that another man at the house had a machete. He testified that he feared for his life when he fired the shots.
In the appeals court ruling, 9th Circuit Judges Stephen Reinhardt and Martha Berzon found that allowing the family to wear the buttons in front of the jury was particularly inflammatory because of Musladin's argument that he was acting in self-defense. The trial judge had rejected Musladin's lawyer's request for the family to cease wearing the buttons. ...
The Ninth Circuit has proved, once again, that it is capable of making the most bizarre decisions imaginable. My heart goes out to the Studer family. They should not have to live through the pain of this trial again.
posted by Beth @ 5:30 PM

1 Comments:

At 9:01 PM, Anonymous said…
Hi,I happen to know the person who shot Mr. Studer as well as his family. I have to let you know that I think murder is absolute and final and punishment can never equal another persons life ever!I would like to know why Mr. Studers methamphetimine levels in his blood samples at the time of autopsy are never discussed as well as the fact that methamphetimines have continued to be sold out of the address of the murder scene. The estranged wife of Mathew Musladin is in fact a meth freak or should I say an addict. No one is mentioning both sides of the story and that pisses me off. Thomas Studer was a meth addict as well. Mathew Musladin is not addicted to meth nor has he ever been. He has an extensive education and he knows that he took a life but he also states it was for fear of his own life that he shot the gun towards the garage. He is aware of the pain this whole situation has caused to both the family of Thomas Studer as well as his three year old son. Even if his conviction is not overturned we should also realize that there was a dirty cop involved in this whole mess. Thomas Studer and Mathew Musladin were both played by Pamela Musladin who is an evil girl along with her brother. Two men truly lost their lives that late afternoon early evening. Two men because Pamela wanted them to come face to face and fight over her.