Friday, June 03, 2005

I Almost Died From XTC

I received this letter on the message board of my Voice of the Victims web site. It's long, but it's about a life almost cut short by Ecstasy, and it's worth reading and sharing.
here is my story..

I first did the drug xtc when I was 14 years old. I didn't know how hard of a drug it was until I took it.. but by then I liked it so much I never wanted to stop. I did it for about 3 years and a half frequently, during that time I've had panic attacks attacks to where I felt like I was going to die, I've blacked out, I've vomited a lot, or I can just say I had lots of bad trips. But I can't lie it was really fun.. I made so many friends and I just felt so alive. October 2004 I was expelled for giving selling student ecstasy who had got sick, that was another bad experience I had with X.. the cops were telling me that if i didn't fess up that she might have died and I would be charged for man slaughter.. So, I stoped E for about 2 months because my probation officer was watching me really close. I finally started Continuation school.

This year January 3,2005.. I took E with a girl I met. We split it half & half. 50 mins went by I didn't feel anything.. So, I was thinking to myself this isn't going to do anything.. normally it kicks in within 25 minutes. So, that day I decided to cut school early and just go smoke some pot at the park with 2 of my guy friends. I started feeling really shaky and nervous.. I thought my teeth were grinding and I was walking to the water fountain drinking a lot of water. They saw I was starting to tweek out and they left. Luckily I made it home. I went in my room and locked the door, I thought I was just going to sleep it off and I had one of those big leater bottles of water drinking it. I think I drank about 2. I was vomiting on the side of my bed, everything was starting to blur out, my back and spine started to feel really, really tense. I started freaking out. Finally my brother came in the room, he was wondering why I raced in so fast and didn't say anything. I was yelling at him "get out" then he saw all the water I was throwing up.. he was fighting with me over the water bottle. He was asking me what I took and I told him I only had a beer but he didn't belive it. All of a sudden I colapsed.. After that it was a big blur. I can faintly remember being took the ambulance and someone was asking me what I took but I could hear then but I was so out of it I couldn't answer. I remember people sticking tubes down my throat and knose and throwing up black stuff. They shoved liquid charcol down my throat to absorb what I took and pumped it back up. I was grinding my teeth for 8 hours straight. Finally after about 20 hours of doing test they found out what was wrong with me. I had drank too much water and my sodium level was low which makes you retain water to the back of your brain. During that time I had a fever of 105.. My heart beat went really low. I didn't wake up until 4 days later. When I woke up my mom, family, friends, boyfriend was there. My mom looked like she was half way dead. They started asking me questions like whats 5 + 5 to make sure I wasn't fried. My head hurt for about 2 weeks straight after that non-stop. They said I was one of the wrost xtc cases they have ever had.

Now it's 6 months later. I still have head trama. I wake up in the middle of the night and my pupils dialate, my whole body feels numb, and i have panic attacks. I tell myself I will never touch that drug again but in the back of my mind I still want to but I know it's not worth it. I wish I would remember all of what happend to me. My uncle told me he never saw anyone so close to dieing before (keep in mind my uncle has seen a lot of people messed up on drugs, he's done pretty much every drug there is when he was younger.) I can't put my family and friends through that again. XTC makes me you feel like you're on top of the world, when people tell you they don't want you to do it you bc you may die.. you think they're just trying to ruin you're good time and there jealous bc there not having fun. But, most the time they are looking out for you. You always think it will never happen to you. You say you'll only do it a certain number of times more, but the FACT is you never know where you're going to get a bad pill, have a bad reaction, dehydrate, drink too much water. It's like you're rolling a dice waiting to get doubles. You can die the 1st time you take E, the 2nd, 3rd, or the 100th. From my experience I'd say don't take the chance of making it the next time you do it.

The stupidest thing I ever thought is that I'd be ok when I was sick from it. To people who do E, always be around someone that WILL take you to a hospital if you get sick. Never think that you'll be ok if you feel like something is seriously wrong with you. Some people it takes a near death experience to get it through there head. It's great but it's not worth your life.
Update: How true is here experience? How common? Too true, too common, but that's not really even the point. The point is that there is risk, and there is a lack of appreciation of that risk, as you can see as you read the comments to this post. I suggest you counterbalance those comments by viewing my film. I'd appreciate it if you would buy it, so I can make my next film (on GHB, dex and alcohol), but here's the link to the previews.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

it's really great of you to share you story. amazing really. this information is really helpful to me because i'm trying to get my best friend to thank you